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Monday; was chilll as haiiil! I forgot what I did though :x HAHA sorry!
Tuesday; CADA CONFERENCE! Hahaha now I remember how boring those shits were. But it wasn’t that bad! I met alot of new people &saw some familiar faces. The dj lunch thang was pretty dope gotta dance! [: But damn I hadn’t seen that many white people in a while! HAHAH.
Wednesday; ASB THANKSGIVING BONDING! [: Theeen BFFE’s thanksgiving bonding! Pretty excited; I’m thankful for many things, but most importantly my family, friends, and the asb experience.
Thursday; I have work then Thanksgiving dinner with family.
Friday; BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING YKNOOOW! [: then work til close. :[
Saturday; DEBUT PRACTICE NO WORK! WHAAAS GOOD ! party?!
Sunday; work &homework -_- HAHAH eff.
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was pretty dope. Chilll as fack & feel good typeee high yknow! Work killled me today though :( Weekends already over -_- but thank God I only have one day of school this coming week! (: Yay<3 Let’s kickit !
FML, riiight? Cause I miss you. :x
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How disappointed I am in you. You don’t even knoow how suprised I am.. Who have you become? Who are you?! What happen to you? All these questions left unanswered left me so confused.. Seeing you was great but once you opened your mouth I was sooo turned off. My eyes have been open &now I realize it. Its not YOU who I exactly miss, it the old you, its what we usta to have the first few months. I’m finally fedup. But I don’t hate you.. Though I should I don’t.. I wish you weren’t like this, but hey fckme right? I’m noone now. Goodluck with getting whatchu want cause most girls don’t just want a fckbuddy. But hey you never know!
I hate how your behavior &words have affected the way I act towards him. But shiiit everythings soo damn sketchy &shady lately I just wanna get away! I need to just go MIA for a while, but I just can’t get enough of spending time with him. :/
Been playing a lot of basketball lately.. I miss it soo much. :(
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Musiq soulchild how you geeet to me! Your songs always make me think of one person.. :/ why’s this taking so looong?! Shouldn’t I be over you by now…? They say I won’t ever let go unless I force myself, unless I truly want to.. That’s the thing I know I should, but do I really want to is a wholee other issue.
Friday; my morning started out pretty good! B brought me a donut &smore for breakfast LOL thanks B! (: watched B’s RBC game theen chilled after school. Debut practice then chilled.
Saturday; pickedup anthony chris &meliza from chelsea dropped em off at anthonys. Went to debut pract; pickedup corsage &botineer then pickedup B &went to my hair appointment. Got ready then took B home. While being on Gale I got pulled over by a cop. I was scared shitless. Turned out my taillight was out :( he said hed let me go without a ticket (: went to pickup my date went to westco mall took pichas poses were reeeal akward &i didn’t like how they came out :( ate at red robbins then took the freeway to DRHS! Homecoming 2009 for the second time was cooo. Hella strict on dancing it was scarrry :( but I had a good time overall! (: dennys after then got home round 2am. Its funny cause I after I was all dressedup I drove towards your house instead of the center.. You’ve been on my mind a lot lately.
Sunday; work til close. -_- so tiring. School tmwr. I really don’t wanna go! I’m pretty exaughsted.
Another long week. Working friday saturday &sunday -_- effmylife! Hah..
I miss you &i don’t even know why.. Its really stupid.
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Have been incredible, but I knew itd have to end sooner or later. I realized &learned a lot these past couple of days. But one big thing I learned is; pain doesn’t necessarily stick with one but memories &happiness does. &a lot of the times, there’s no going back. No matter how much you care or love being with a person.. As humans we tend not to look back.. And sometimes we get caughtup in the moment &live in the past. But now I know is, sometimes we hurt the ones we love because of the past, because our feelings never truly leave so whenever something sparks up again one mayb get their hopes up but reality hits hard and makes you see there’s no going back.
Tonight was quite interesting, but really made me open my eyes. I also learned I’m not as much of a idealize imaginative romantic type anymore.. I think I’ve matured soo much than I’ve ever have. Honestly the way I look at, think of, & way I want a relation is completely different than it was just a month ago. Its hard to explain, but it makes sense to me.
P.s
I do wonder how your doing nowadays..
It feels like its been forever.. But its only been a few days.. :/
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“you & I are two worlds apart. Butchull always be the one to have my heart. Ima love you now &forever, cause your my sunset set set. Maybe one day we’ll end up talking again, maybe we’ll be friends. Promise to love you til my life ends. No matter what happen between me &you ill always be the one you can run to. I loved you then now & forever cause your my sunset set set.. “
Its funny how when we weren’t even brokeup we referred the song, “Sunset” by Marques Houston to one another, but now that we finally are.. We dispise eachother. Looking back at these lyrics I do think of you..
I hope your doing good… I hope your happy with her.. The holidays are right around the corner. I really would’ve liked spending christmas &newyears with you again..
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was pretty unpredictable. Balled up @Fajardo park. Caughtup with an old friend. Dance practice. Then kicked all over again. Its crazy how things work out.. I’m kinda scared where this might take me :/
Maybe it was suppose to be this way. Maybe you were meant for her &I was meant for someone else.
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Is the way its gonna end. I never wanted to end on bad terms or ever thought itd be like this.. I don’t kno why but I always though we’d endup at least being friends.. &I still believe that but I shouldn’t. But cos I do.. Its so hard to let go. Reality is, I’m not gonna get what I want. Sadly, we’ll walk passed eachother one day as if we never meant anything to eachother..
“It’s sad when people you know become people you knew; when you can walk right past someone like he or she was never a part of your life…”
I don’t want that to happen, but I can’t stop you from anything. I have no say whatsoever anymore.. Just don’t get hurt, bestfriend. I still care &always will. Keep yah heart 3-stacks &don’t fall too fast. Don’t settle for less.
Even though my last blog was hateful towards you.. I don’t hate you at all. I’m just hurt, that’s all. I just wish you understood that. No I’m not happy bout my single life cause honestly, I haven’t been interested in a guy since you.. I haven’t been doing anything you think I’ve have..
I don’t know why I even bother, its not like you read this anymore. Its not like you even care…
Thanks Eweezy for tryna make me feel better. &to you B, it was nice of you to text me today and trying to be my friend again! Thanks
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“Walking away isn’t the hardest part. The most difficult thing to do,
is telling yourself you can’t look back.”
So for about a week I’ve been trying not to look back… I’ve been trying to move forward but it hasn’t been the easiest… The littlest things remind me of you. But don’t get me wrong I’m not dying without you nor am I unhappy, but I guess I’m also not the happiest I could be. I’ve gotten a lot stronger.. I’m almost there.
Friday; dressed up as Pebbles in the costume my mommy made me (: elementary school night football game. Our first varsity lost :( busted some crazy missions; got cheapass tayaki.
Saturday; happy halloween! Worked 10am til 530ish; went home got ready; Tawnya &court came over and got ready then we headed out to El Monte! Went trick or treating for a quicky; party hopped around westco &endedup in Rowland heights for Haydees party. Went home changed &met up with D-squeez. Met the youngins &rolled through Pamona; deep conversations &sweet talking. Made my night just a little bit better (: Halloween endedup being a good night!
Sunday: Ontario Mills mall to look for my homecoming dress for Diamond Ranch high school. Endedup finding a pinl fusia dress &bought cowboy boots &a cutesy everyday type dress. Now I needa find white heels &pearls! Thinking bout goin back next weekend or maybe some time this week. Tmwr going do some bargain corsage shopping with Nick.
To be honest- I miss you… &i sorta wished you’d call.. :/
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